


is it desire (or is it love that I'm feeling for you)

by emilia_kaisa



Category: New Blood (TV)
Genre: 5 Things, Fluff and Angst, How Do I Tag, Kinda, Love Confessions, M/M, Not Beta Read, this is a mess
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-16
Updated: 2016-07-16
Packaged: 2018-07-24 09:01:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,623
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7502268
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/emilia_kaisa/pseuds/emilia_kaisa
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Three times Rash and Stefan didn't say 'I love you' and two times they did.</p>
            </blockquote>





	is it desire (or is it love that I'm feeling for you)

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into Русский available: [Страсть это, или же любовь](https://archiveofourown.org/works/11575866) by [bayern](https://archiveofourown.org/users/bayern/pseuds/bayern), [fandom_Police_2017](https://archiveofourown.org/users/fandom_Police_2017/pseuds/fandom_Police_2017)



> I love them so, so much it's not even funny. It's my first fanfic about them so I'm not sure if they're completely in character but the next time (yeah, I have ideas!) is going to be better :) And I know it's kinda messy but that's my style (I'm working on that too).  
> Warning: probably some grammar mistakes, missing articles and some typos.   
> Title from 'Desire' by Years&Years
> 
> Dedicated to Bettina <3 (thank you for suggesting the perfect song!)

**i.**

Rash liked to think that it wasn’t creepy at all. He wasn’t staring, he was just... checking if he was breathing or something. Friends do things like that, right?

Stefan mumbled something in his sleep and Rash’s lips curled up into a smile. Of course that idiot would fall asleep on a couch, it was such his thing to do. He was so stupid, so irresposible but at the same time it was making Rash feel warm inside. In a friendly way, of course. Just friends. Rash wondered briefly if he should wake him up but he decided it wasn’t a good idea. Stefan was working hard lately and he needed sleep; and he looked so adorable that Rash didn’t have enough heart to wake him up.

Wait, what? Adorable? Nope, nope, nope, apparently Rash’s exhaustion was catching up to him. Stefan was messy and sometimes ridiculously stupid, and he had those nice warm eyes... Okay, now he was just being stupid. And tired. There was no way he could think that Stefan was adorable, just no. Just friends.

Rash sighed and took a few steps when his eyes caught a sight of a blanket, rolled on one of the chairs. Okay, he was just being a good mate when he grabbed that blanket and carefully wrapped it around Stefan.

 

**ii.**

Stefan glared at his phone and tried to stop concern from creeping into his mind. There was no reason to panic. Yet. Rash supposed to be back three hours earlier but okay, maybe he decided to visit his family for dinner. Which was totally possible. But why the hell wasn’t he answering his phone? That was so not like him. But okay, no reasons to panic yet.

Twenty minutes before midnight Stefan was still sitting on a couch and okay, maybe he was freaking out a litttle. Sure, Rash was a grown up man and he could do whatever he wanted without letting his friend know. But. It still didn’t make him less nervous.

And finally, a little bit before midnight, he heard a scratching of a key and relief flooded him with surprising strength. He mentally prepared some snarky comment but when he saw Rash all irony he wanted to use was gone.

He looked terrible. His face was scratched and Stefan could see a dark bruise on Rash’s jaw. His left leg was a little lump and even his hair wasn’t so perfect as usual.

‘What the hell happened?’ Stefan asked, standing up from the couch ‘What...’

‘Not today.’ Rash interrupted him and his voice was tired ‘Just... not today.’

He looked so miserable that something inside Stefan clenched painfully.

‘Sure.’

Rash nodded in a response and slowly made his way to the couch and collapsed onto it. He laid his head back and closed his eyes, exhaling heavily. Stefan looked at him for a moment and then carefully sat down next to him.

They were sitting like that for a few minutes and okay, maybe Stefan was staring but he just couldn’t help it. And in that moment something settled in his chest, something heavy and warm. Huh. Of course he wanted to know what had happened but it wasn’t really that important.

So he would just sit with him like that for a little longer.

 

**iii.**

‘We’re having a movie night.’ Stefan said and Rash raised his eyebrows.

‘A movie night.’ Rash repeated and Stefan nodded.

‘Yeah. You, me, beer and a movie.’

Rash didn’t seem too excited but he didn’t look dreaded off either. Good sign.

‘Okay.’ he said and Stefan couldnt help but feel a bit surprised. Really, so easy?

‘Okay?’

‘Yeah, why not.’ Rash shrugged his shoulders ‘I don’t have any plans. But please, don’t feed me with some strange Polish movies.’

Stefan just grinned in a response.

 

It was obvious that after Rash’s comment he had to pick a Polish movie. It was a comedy from the 80’, his father’s favourite. Rash groaned with frustration when he saw it.

‘What the hell is it?’

Stefan grinned at him broadly.

‘Oh come on, everyone in Poland loves this movie!’

‘If their jokes are as bad as yours then it’s going to be a torture.’ Rash said and Stefan rolled his eyes.

‘Shut up and watch.’

 

‘Okay’ Rash said when the ending subtitles rolled in ‘I have to admit, it wasn’t that bad.’

‘Just say that you loved it.’ Stefan said and Rash rolled his eyes and patted him on his shoulder.

‘Oh, woman is hitting me!’ Stefan quoted in a high pitched voice. Rash chuckled at his words and then, just like that, they both were laughing, laughing until they lungs were empty and they could just look at each other, smiling breathlessly and oh, Stefan felt that little flutter of his heart and it was great and terrifying at the same time.

 

**iv.**

Rash was pissed. Really, really pissed, and it was of course all Stefan’s fault.

‘Seriously, what the fuck?’ he asked angrily. Stefan just shrugged his shoulders and tilted his head a little and man, those gestures were so irritating.

‘She wasn’t your type anyway.’ Stefan said and anger rushed through Rash’s veins.

‘What the actual... you have no right to decide for me!’ he yelled ‘It’s not your fucking business who I wanna meet with!’

He wasn’t even mad because he wanted to date that girl so badly; it wasn’t even because of the way Stefan acted, practically scaring her off; it was about that strange tension between them that just couldn’t be realeased. Rash wasn’t sure why it was that way but they just couldn’t get along lately. They were annoying each other more and more, and they were barely talking about things that weren’t work related. It was bad but Rash didn’t know how to change it and it was just so frustrating.

‘Why the hell did you do that?’ he asked, maybe a bit too agressive, but his frustration just started speaking through him.

To his suprise, Stefan didn’t answer right away. He just looked at him and there was something strange in his eyes, something Rash couldn’t quiet understand.

‘Kocham cię.’ he said, strangely softly, and Rash suddenly felt very tired. He really wasn’t in a mood for insults in Polish. So he just moved past Stefan and went to his bedroom, trying not to think about that heavy pressure that settled in his chest.

 

**v.**

When Stefan called and explained the situation in fakely light voice Rash grabbed his jacket and left everything in a second. Maybe things weren’t great between them lately but that didn’t stop his heart from clenching painfully when he heard Stefan’s voice.

A nice nurse with bright hair told him the number of his room and he went there with a knot tied up somewhere next to his stomach. When he finally found the right door he pushed it carefully and entered the room. His heart clenched painfully at the sight of Stefan. He looked miserable, with an arm covered in bandages, with scratches all over his face, but he still managed to smile slightly at the sight of Rash.

‘Hi.’ Stefan said like nothing had happened and Rash almost lost his mind in that moment.

‘Hi? What the hell, Stef? Hi?!’ oh God, he was so angry he could destroy something.

‘What?’ Stefan asked and Rash was so angry that he didn’t get _it_ , didn’t get it that he could get himself killed because he was so fucking irresponsible and he never thought about consequences, and that’s why he was so annoying and so amazing at the same time.

And in that moment it hit him, that strange realization which suddenly so so obvious and surprising and so, so scary. And Rash could only stood there, staring at Stefan and processing what was happening. Oh God, he was so screwed.

Stefan was seemed to be a bit confused about the fact that Rash was just staring at him without saying anything.

‘I’m fine.’ he shrugged his shoulders and okay, that was too much.

‘Yeah, right, you’re fine!’ Rash practically yelled, emotions buzzing in his veins ‘You could get yourself killed, because you’re so fucking irresponsible, you and your stupid bike! And then you’re calling me and giving me fucking heartattack! But yeah, you’re fine!’

‘Well, I don’t understand why do you care so much!’ Stefan exlaimed loudly, clearly angry, and Rash lost control over his tongue.

‘I don’t know, maybe because I love you!’

The silence after his words was heavy and hollow, and Rash knew that he fucked up completely. He fucked up, but he had said the truth and that felt wrong and right at the same time. Stefan was looking at him with eyes full of confusion and Rash just wanted to run away. He wasn’t ready to hear what Stefan was going to say, not now, not so soon.

But then Stefan chuckled, shortly and lightly, and his face lit up with a smile.

‘You do?’he asked and his voice was full of astonishment and hope and everything, and Rash’s heart stopped for a second.

‘Yeah.’ he just nodded simply and Stefan’s grin widened.

‘You know I’m the one who said it first.’ Stefan said and Rash blinked in confusion.

‘What?’ it was all he was able to say because holy shit, had he really said that? That would mean that...

‘I’ve said that in Polish. Not my fault you didn’t understand.’ he said, grinning, and Rash could just look at him, wtih all those emotions mixing inside him.

‘But I’m always first, so...’ Stefan didn’t finish because yeah, he was quicker with this one but Rash was the the who kissed him first.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! Love you all :)


End file.
